Monday, November 15, 2010

R.I.P My best friend..My Crazy Polish sis...I miss you

I’m still struggling on believing and accepting the fact that you’re actually really gone.
Why did you have to go?
Why was your life cut so short? We had so many plans ahead of us.
I was always looking forward to everything. We planned to live together and that was gonna be the best choice ever. Yes we may of been lazy but we knew we were gonna work together as a team and be great roommates. So many plans ahead...but your life was cut short.
I’m still struggling on the fact you’re really gone.
Its eating me up inside and no matter how much I may talk about you and think about the great time I know I’m bottling up things still inside all the time, because I know I’m not gonna be able to let go and accept that your really watching up above in heaven. I’m still mentally messed up in the head but to most people it seems like I’m fine. No one can tell...No one knows. No one will ever know.

This all feels like a dream to me. I continuously think she’s still alive and that she’s just gone on a little holiday. I need to wake up and see the truth. But I can’t and I don’t think I ever will.

She may be watching over me but I miss having her watching me next to her. I miss her voice, her laughter, her hugs...I miss everything about you. When I was in need you were right there. I could always rely on you. I struggle to turn around and rely on someone like I did with you. No one will seriously replace you and everything you and I did for each other. I love you and I always will love you. I missed you then and I miss you now and I’ll forever miss you.

I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. I put on the act that I’m okay and I’m strong. But it’s all a lie...I’m not strong. I don’t know how much longer I can take. But I know I have to be strong and live my life just like you told me to. Live life to the full...

I’m gonna try so hard Kamila, in memory of you I will try extremely hard. But I know I will have days that I will drop to the floor and cry or even have days where I’m a complete lost person. This all burns me inside, just thinking about all the memories and even you sleeping beside me. I never gonna forget our conversations and our times out for coffee and our drives and our silly photos and video sessions. I’ll never forget when you use to drive up my driveway with the music pumping so loud and I’d walk out to you and just beginning to dance and you’d come out and join in and we’d laugh so much about it.

I miss you like crazy and I honestly am not in the right state of mind. I continue to pretend I am but I’m struggling and really....Nothings the same without you. I wish you were still here, standing beside me and kicking it with me. I wish you were still here so we could live on with our lives like we had planned.

I miss you and I love you. I’m never going to forget you and hopefully this burning feeling dies down so I can become strong without pretending.

R.I.P my crazy polska big sis....forever in my heart <3

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Gotta try and mend everything in life.Never back down and give up on no one. Gonna do all you can to make things better and have Peace.
What Doesn't Kill You..Makes You Stronger.." Plus i just gotta try and keep a positive mind and always remember, "What Happens..Happens For A Reason" but to also remember "No Regrets.." ...Baby I think about us...of me loving you and you loving me and what we shared..
As we close our eyes, we get an insight of what we want to achieve or just want in life. The more hope and faith we have towards that aim, eventually we will succeed. Never give up. Keep your head held up high because things will get better and will happen if only you believe and have patience :)
"Open up to new things, take your chances, that's all u can do. The rest is in Gods hands."
We make certain choices in life. Some are Difficult & others are easy, but people sometimes make the easy choice so difficult & confusing. But then again to know/decide what you want, always tends to be a difficult choice. Just follow your heart/feeling/dreams. Give anything a go, its why we take risks. Because you never know, the greatest choice could be right there in front of you.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

We may have many dreams...but there's always just ONE Dream.
We might get many chances...but we should really deserve ONE Chance.
We may be lucky once...but we only have ONE life..

Monday, July 19, 2010

There comes a time in our lives when we realise who matters, who doesn't, who never did and who always will. So dont worry about the past theres a reason they didnt make it into you future...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Meaning something to someone

Meaning something to someone...Hmmm, I believe you don't have to be something or something your not to mean something.
Okay that was a lot of "something" But...why do you need to mean anything?
You mean so much to your friends and family, why do you have to mean something to a special someone. That comes later.
To mean something, you must be happy with yourself.
Being happy with yourself, makes you feel....Great!
Your friends love you for that and enjoy spending time with you, because you seem to be always happy. Then, this is where the special someone comes along.
You and your happiness, will attract many people's eyes. Sometimes you may have to be a little careful because some people may walk all over you, but if your smart and wise about it, you won't. But one day, eventually someone will walk into your life seeing this happiness you got going on and would want to get to know you and then they would want to share this happiness with you.
Now that's where great happiness comes from. That's why everyone that finds their special someone, never stop smiling because they always had happiness happening in their life before the special someone came along, but now they have arrived you can say you defiantly mean something to someone as you brought them great happiness.

Life and Love

Life and love.
What would we have without it?
We we're given a life. God created us all as individuals, hence why we are all different from one another. We look different and our personalities are different. But...Some people believe we have similar personalities. But that's not right, because here comes LOVE. We all love differently. We all feel differently for one another.

So look at it this way, when you look at some people you think they have the same or similar personality. And you see them with someone and you wonder why ain't they with me...we have the same sorta personality. But that's where everyone is wrong.

We are created as individuals. We are all different.
Everyone tend to questions themselves with "Oh why is that hot guy with that ugly girl" ...or something, but its all got to do what they find within and as much similarities as you may have with someone that's not necessarily gonna make yous compatible its much deeper, because inner beauty is the most important thing when your looking for someone.
Imagine you going for someone so hot looking and you picture you two together thinking they have the best personality, but as soon as you get to know them, they have the crappiest personality and you get put off completely!
Why does everyone have to go for looks. Is everyone forgetting that personality is the best and hardest thing to find. Looks is a bonus. Personality is the complete package that everyone ends up looking for and end up getting married to.

Be smart.
Be wiser.
Look within.
Within the inner beauty.
You'll love your life choices once you realize the truth about Life and Love.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

"It takes a personality to make someone beautiful.."

My dear friend told me that and it's so true!
I respect and love it heaps! These are the sort of words that must be spreading to everyone to all over the world, because its the best true words you could ever hear and say "YES ITS TRUE :)"

Friday, June 4, 2010

"The most beautiful things in the world are not seen nor touched. They are felt with the heart."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Societies Stupidity with finding "The One"..

I hate to go through all that process, of meeting girls, chatting them up, taking them on dates and pick one hoping something happens. In the end you gotta do it over and over, till you meet the right person.
It really gets annoying and its not in my nature to be going through every girl like that, I honestly hate it and it hurts me because they end up falling for you when you don't see them in the same way...Or they end up being a complete waste of time thus making you feel the need to be less attached to anybody in the future.

Seriously how unfair is that? Because I'm pretty sure majority of the population hates it as well.

I gotta say, the majority of girls go or settle for the fucking idiots of society and then cry when the guy ends up doing the obvious and either takes advantage of the girl or ends up fucking them over. And that's all pretty much true. Some people these days are silly and dumb to be going for the assholes out there and forget that there are actually people that will care and love them the way they have been looking for but NO, they just stick to them dickheads.

Like how simple is it to recognize what's best?
It ain't that hard especially considering what that person is willing and has shown to do for you! And then they choose us to be their best friend!?!

Seriously, how does that work???

(This goes for both Guys and Girls.)

Its like, Hello, Love of my life...I'm here to give you what you been looking for but NO, I have to watch you and see you go off with some dick head that's gonna treat you like shit. And till the day you open your eyes that it was me you should of been with from the start, its gonna be too late. Its either we have moved on from our feelings for you or found someone else that actually noticed us or actually realized we do have a better heart than all those dicks out there! It ends up coming down to that because people lack the tact and vision of what's in front of them.

Seriously people need to open their eyes and start realizing those that actually do have a heart and care for you. People really gotta be able to see that in those that care.
Like come on, is it that hard to see? Like if i can see it...then why can't everyone else!? Honestly, the majority of people really are ignorant in that sense and it's like a virus.

Everyone needs to wake up and smell the roses. There are so many awesome individuals out there, Not just Females, but Males as well, that actually care and want to love someone till the day they die. But we have to watch all these people getting treated like shit and they continue being with the fool. I honestly don't understand how people can do that to themselves, but really...Open your eyes and see...That we are here waiting for someone to actually notice out caring and loving hearts. We're the ones your looking for, we're your fairytale dream.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

People tend to make situations harder when not necessary. Like why make things harder? People like a drama free life, right? Who likes drama? NO ONE! But everyone's different. Also I gotta say (which is true) everyone's a hypocrite. You don't realize it, till you actually see it threw someone else & be like "Shit I did that as well.." That's were our advices come from, from experience.

We only realize we are hypocrites till we talk to our friends and be like hey i did this and that, blah blah blah.
I'm not saying I'm not a hypocrite...I know I am. I do shit like everyone else...but hey its an experience and we learn from our mistakes...but there are some that don't.
Everyone's different...that's why we're all INDIVIDUALS.
God created everyone to be different. So everyone handles things different. Sucks but its life.

Plus everyone becomes a better and stronger person each day from each mistake they make!
But some people are different that sometimes they can't handle it...that's why we all have a great friend beside us to remind us that whatever we have done, isn't the end of the world.
Without drama i guess we wouldn't learn from anything. But some people take it too way outta hand.

Make peace not war.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

"What Doesn't Kill You..Makes You Stronger.." Plus i just gotta try and keep a positive mind and always remember, "What Happens..Happens For A Reason" but to also remember "No Regrets.." ...Baby I think about us...of me loving you and you loving me and what we shared..

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Beautiful night.

"I'm really missing the girl I once called my wifey..The one that always got my heart beating like it was a love song..."

I Went outside & spent time just looking up into the clear night sky & looking at all the stars. How beautiful it felt just to sit there & feel the air touching my skin & breathing it in. I just closed my eyes imagining I was spending this night with you. Oh how amazing it would have been...That's why I kept my eyes shut & smiled, because I knew you were there...

Right in my heart ♥

I miss you..

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The begining of my dream come true =)

I'm a dreamer and Dream I can..

From the moment i saw you...

I see you looking at me,
and i just smile and looked away.
We laugh and muck around,
and we're back to looking into each others eyes.
I smile and you look away.
I keep looking at you till you look straight into my eyes again

And from that moment on, all my thoughts of wanting to be single, had changed...
And all that went through my head was...

"She's that Girl..."

I wasn't searching,
I was..just minding my own business and having fun.

I pushed people away as I didn't want a relationship with no one..
But came along.

We're similar in a way, but different in a way as well and I can't explain what's going through my head or what I'm actually feeling inside of me.

I said to myself that I didn't want to jump into a relationship...
But girl, the way you're making me feel is something i didn't think id feel again.
You make me smile and nervous every time we speak..
I have this big smile when I receive a text from you..
Looking into your eyes show me your a different girl and special..
Your beautifully shaped but I don't know how they feel as we haven't connected lips..
But one day we will and it'll be special because you're a special girl.

I have to admit, I miss you day and night and what I'm feeling, I didn't think I'd have that feeling again.
If you were ever to be my girl...
I'd look after you and show my love to you but, I won't say those three little words with the big meaning behind it.
I ain't ready for that, but only ready to have you as my girl.
Your beautiful smile keeps my day going well and until your gone...I miss you so much.
I want to hold you close in my arms and just look into your eyes.
I want to have you....because...I're that girl, I've been waiting for.